After such an experience, to “come back” doesn’t always happen smoothly. What I felt over the past days must of course be miles away from what a war veteran must feel returning home, after having spent several months in hostile territory, but, at the same time, I know it’s very far from the feeling of coming home after a weekend trip.
As a matter of fact, I’ve lived these first days in a sort of “denial” state: nothing has happened, everything goes back to normal, there’s no need to do anything special. I haven’t seen many people, I didn’t go out much. I haven’t had a proper walk since I came back. Wearing normal shoes felt extremely weird and the first steps I took in them were hell. I instantly missed my boots.
Why do I feel this denial, though? I believe I needed to let go of all my worries for a few days and clear my head. While I was in Japan, I felt rather stressed about everything. At any point in time, something could have gone horribly wrong.
Maybe I will lose my way, maybe there will be a problem with tonight’s booking, maybe I will forget my phone somewhere, maybe they will take my bag or maybe my camera. Maybe a car will run over me in this tunnel, maybe I will twist an ankle in the middle of this forest, maybe a snake will try to bite me.
The constant thought of all these “what if” scenarios became more and more difficult to bear, over the weeks. It takes a big toll on your mind and I did not expect it.
However, as soon as I landed in Berlin, I felt relieved. My biggest concern now is what I’m going to cook for dinner or when to handle that big pile of dishes in the sink. What a change!
Well, actually, I do have kind of a big task right now: to go through hundreds and hundreds of pictures I took with my camera and start editing them. I would love to show some of them to you through either the blog or Instagram.
Now it would be the time to try to stay fit and avoid going into hibernation until next year. To get some good habits and maybe finish that book of mine that has waited for a couple of years. Maybe.
I will remember this long summer for many years: it has been one of my best ones for many different reasons. This o-henro for sure made a great contribution to it, and I cannot wait to embark on my next adventure, whenever the time will be right.
It might be in two, three or five years. I do not know when the right time will come. But I know it will, at some point, and that’s what matters.