Today’s post will be less about what happened in the last 24 hours and more about what’s going on in my head, while I am on this journey.
After three weeks, I’m still failing to see the bigger picture. This is slowly sending my motivation down the drain, while I’m clueless on what to do to change this trend.
The most disappointing thing, in my head, is that so far walking has been just waking. No great inspiration, no sense of purpose, just a big long trek everyday to the next lodging facility.
Having 88 small intermediate goals (the temples) instead of a single big goal at the end of the pilgrimage (like on the Camino) is my main suspect for this behaviour I’m experiencing on my skin and brain.
Quite surprisingly, I’m failing to connect with the “lore” of this Shikoku Henro. It’s a thought I never entertained before leaving.
So today I decided to stay in the same hotel as yesterday and “vent” all my stress by surfing the internet, checking various subreddits, catching up with some Youtubers and so on.
I wrote on my journal:
When I’m in a city for a long period of time, I always dream of escaping that sort of bourgeois environment by taking off for a big travel or outdoor adventure.
Ironically, now that I find myself right in the middle of such adventure, I feel the need to escape it for one day and go back to the “boring”, yet comfortable, city-like life of comforts.
I was so immersed in my phone, draining its battery and making sure I was making the most out of the hotel Wi-Fi, that I was genuinely surprised to hear a Japanese voice outside. It felt like if I were really somewhere else, and not here.
It has been a pretty alienating day, as you can imagine. I’m sorry if you won’t find pretty sunset pictures or exciting tales of hidden mountain paths in this article.
As a sort of self-inflicted punishment, I decided that for lunch I was going to eat the despicable portion of cup noodles given to me by the receptionist upon my arrival, yesterday evening. Disgusting.
I have no idea how people can actually purchase something like this. And in a land that has excellent food nonetheless. I mean, I can understand this crap being sold in Germany, but here, seriously?
It’s almost 5 PM and I haven’t got out of my room yet. I believe it’s time to shower up, pack my shit back together and get ready for tomorrow’s walk.
I’m sure that both you and I will benefit from it.