Many of us had been waiting for 2020 to be over. Personally, I was lucky enough not to be impacted by many of the shenanigans that this troubled year has brought to our world.
As a matter of fact, I rather enjoyed 2020, even though I’m not sad to see it go into the history books. And boy, will those books have something to say about it.
I decided to end the year on a positive note nonetheless, and allowed myself a small Christmas gift in the form of a few hotlaps with a Ferrari 488 Pista, on a small racetrack located in Modena (Autodromo di Modena).
This has been a fantastic experience, with the track completely empty and all for myself. I could push and try to improve my lines, my braking, fix my understeer on corner entry, and all sort of things that I mainly try to do virtually, on a simulator. To be able to do it live has given me a lot of adrenaline, similar to skydiving.
Maybe it’s true: millennials are obsessed with experiences, and I’m not an exception to this rule. While I have not been negatively impacted by 2020 on the outside, this year has nonetheless left a mark on me.
I have not lost my job, I can work from home, I got to spend all the time I wanted with the people I care about, I managed to regain a lot of energy and mental health, after two years of travelling around Europe every week.
At the same time, I was disappointed on many fronts, especially on my ambitions to start working in automotive. I still feel “blocked”, as written in my latest post (Inertia), and my potential venture in motorsport did not take off, at least for now.
I hope that it will in the future. The optimistic side of myself is at work, to make sure we can give a better try in 2021. But it’s not a given, and it would still be a massive gamble, both professionally and financially.
This is why I probably thought it was worth having an experience with the Ferrari 488 Pista on a real “pista” (which is Italian for “race track”). It was worth reminding myself that motorsport is not only landing a job in the field. It is first and foremost fun, adrenaline, and a feeling of self-improvement.
Now that I think about it while I write this post: maybe it’s this very last element, the feeling of improving yourself and becoming better at what you do, that draws me to motorsport the most. To realize that you’re becoming a faster, better driver, by continuously exercising. Something that I’m not yet able to replicate with real physical exercise, despite my mind telling me I really should start doing that, sooner rather than later.
Why am I not doing that? Sometimes I feel like I’m hanging in the air, not able to properly “land” anywhere, always in-between things, like Berlin and Italy, or my job and more creative ideas that float my mind. This is probably the way I felt in 2020 the most, just hanging, looking down at the world going crazy. I try to keep my sanity, stay safe, and wait for the storm to pass without taking any damage myself.
At the same time, we should not forget what bring us joy in our lives, both everyday, thanks to our loved ones, and, why the heck not, with something more extravagant every now and then.
Bring it on, 2021. My twenties will be over soon: I completed the tutorial, now we can start the real game.